September 25, 2008
“Goodbye Castle, hello??”
Ahem……let me begin this email by mentioning where I am sitting as I write it………………………
A fire is spreading warmth and the smell of pine through the room. Outside the window I see rolling green fields covered in a fine fog. We are waiting for our room in Abbeyglen Castle, and the waiting is……let’s just say…..very bearable! We have the entire bar room to ourselves, and it feels as though our own personal waiter to clear away the oysters etc., once finished. Now you may think this is all terribly indulgent, and you’d be right!! Hee hee!!!
However, in my defense we are making up for a horrendous experience in Ennis last night (more about that later). Also – the castle was once owned by one John d’Arcy – Marissa’s father’s name – so it obviously was just meant to be. (The room rates were much lower than we expected too, so the guilt factor isn’t too uncomfortable). Anyhow, am getting ahead of myself……when I last wrote we had just left the warmth and welcome of Aisling house on the outskirts of Tipperary and headed in the Galway direction. The town of Tipperary wasn’t difficult to leave behind, as it didn’t have a great deal of charm. It was in Tipperary that we came across our first doof-doof car thumping down the street. Also amongst the locals there seemed to be a disproportionate amount of people with odd facial expressions. Picture mouths hanging open widely, rapid blinking and lurching strides. I hadn’t heard of any uranium mines nearby………….so not sure what to make of that.
Bunratty Castle was our next stop, and here they have created a replica village from the 1800’s. Small cottages are scattered throughout the castle grounds, fully furnished the way they might have been in years gone by. The surrounding farmyards are complete with chickens, goats, donkeys, deer and even pigs. Marissa felt compelled to take a picture of a pigs arse because she wants to remember it forever with humour. Go figure!! We did have a giggle over the curly tail!!
We wandered around for hours in the replica village, farm and castle and it was delightful. As with every major attraction we’ve visited in Ireland it came complete with a gift shop selling authentic Ireland artifacts fresh from the factory in Hong Kong!! The castle itself was very medieval with ramparts and narrow winding stairs up to the battlements. We were quite exhausted by the end of our wandering as the grounds are extensive and there’s a lot to see. Sheesh, this holiday stuff can be tiring! Once again we were extremely lucky with the weather, as what had been a little mist turned into hard rain just as we got back to the car. The universe was smiling on us yet again!!
Moving on we decided to stop for the night in Ennis, as we’d been told it’s an excellent place to find spontaneous Irish music. As an added bonus we found a very, very cheap B & B to stay at that was only a short walk into the centre of town. Our host, Noel, stood talking to us in the hall for about an hour and what a character he was! Noel is typical of the Irish men we’ve spoken to, with a ruddy complexion, an easy smile and fast, animated speech. Tripping over his words in his rush to share with us, Noel told us tales of his travels and a bit of background on the problems Ireland is facing now. Of course Marissa and I gave him a run for his money – so the conversation was rapid and spirited – just the way we like it!
Ennis had a lively, happening atmosphere during the day. Flowerpots hung from posts all along the streets adding bright splashes of colour to the overcast day. A market was prospering just outside the main street and we feasted on crepes with lemon and sugar from a stall during our travels. As this holidaying business requires so much energy, we felt the need shortly after to replenish and ducked in to Brogan’s pub to sample their roast of the day. A comfortable fire blazed in the hearth and the murmur of families chatting and groups celebrating made it even more welcoming. Although it’s horrendously expensive to eat and drink in Ireland, they also serve GIANT meals, so Marissa and I often buy one meal and split it in two. Would you believe between us we often have leftovers from this shared meal? It’s an amazing phenomenon that the Irish aren’t HUGE, considering the size of their servings.
Stumbling out of Brogans fully satisfied (for the moment at least) we made our way back to our B& B (Banner Lodge) and relaxed for a time – Marissa with her book and me in the bath for a long decadent soak. Fully refreshed and ready to experience the legendary night life, we set off with high expectations. The ambience of the town changed remarkably after nightfall. Charming little cobbled pathways morphed into alleys inhabited by sinister looking men smoking cigarettes and spitting. As in Tipperary Doof-doof cars prowled up and down the narrow main road, windows open to spill out maximum volume.
Back at Brogan’s pub we were delighted to see a sign out the front announcing “Traditional Irish music from 9pm tonight!!” As it was just after 9, we thought the timing was perfect. However, there wasn’t much activity inside. A few people sat eating late meals and some men were gathered at the bar, but otherwise the place was deserted and there was no evidence of music. Asking a staff member when the music started, she didn’t deign to speak to us, instead she gestured rudely towards a poster on the wall; “Live Irish music here every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday.” Ok. So much for the advertisement outside!! Not to be deterred we decided to wander further down the road to explore a couple more places that had been recommended. First we found “Ciarians” in a little side street and a quick glance inside had us shutting the door quickly. A few token drunks leant precariously at the bar, and the place was otherwise empty.
Next on our list was “Quinns”, or at least that was what I was looking for. It turned out that I’d misheard, as the place was in fact “Queens.” Just as we were about to enter out came several guys with guitar cases, drums etc., You guessed it – the entertainment was over. However, they did mention that another band was starting at 10.30, so thus encouraged in we strolled. All Irish pubs are dimly lit and this was no exception. There weren’t many people there, and those present were clustered thickly about the bar. Marissa nabbed a seat while I squeezed through the mob at the bar to make an order. Trying to make eye contact with the busy bar staff wasn’t going so well when I realized that a person to my right was talking to me, only it didn’t sound like words. More like “blgrbhiu shihgyei ye?” I’m getting used to this initial confusion so I wasn’t too concerned until I took a really good look at my companion. In the dim light he bore a striking resemblance to Jaba the Hut – a small bald head sloping away without a neck to ever increasing rolls of fat. The shape wasn’t the only distinguishing feature that reminded me of Jaba – the heavy lidded eyes and language was also similar. This guy spoke a slurring version of Jaba-ness for sure. Adding to the attractive picture I realized that despite his best efforts he couldn’t focus through those Guinness-goggles he was wearing for eyes. Great! Time to make my escape. Only he followed me. Ahhhh!
Moving quickly through the room towards our bench seat I thought I may have succeeded in losing him as he was taking 4 stumbles to every step of mine. Getting closer to Marissa and what I thought of as a safe refuge I realized that she had a guy sitting beside her. “Phew,” I thought, “she’s found someone interesting to chat to and this guy will probably nick off when he sees we’re not alone.” Wrong on all counts! As I sat down Marissa was giving me unmistakable ‘save me’ eyes. Glancing at her companion I saw that unlike Jaba who was staggering alarmingly on my heels, this guy had a slight build, and judging by his comb-over obviously enjoyed a close relationship with Brill Cream. At this stage I should just say that the movie ‘PS I love you’ provided a great misrepresentation of the Irish male population. We have yet to find anyone who looks like the lead characters in that movie, despite looking in every location we’ve visited. Talk about false advertising!!
Back where the real Irishmen live, as opposed to the film version, I sat down and Marissa again gave me the meaningful eye contact that I noted had escalated to ‘let’s go now,’. This was not good. Even worse, glancing at Jaba, I had a moment when his towering form seemed destined to land on me with bone-breaking force. Have you seen that cartoon where the large lady is front on in the picture calling out “Here Puss, puss? Here Puss, puss?” and then in the next frame she turns around and there’s a squashed cat indented into her bum?? Well, that was almost my fate!!!! Yes, the wobbles started and the stagger threatened to send Jaba down upon my vulnerable form. By some miracle at the last minute he pirouetted ungracefully and his great weight landed on the bench beside me.
Oh what a lucky pair we were this night! There was Jaba on my left muttering “Grsde oopengey trrddkks” and…….well I wasn’t sure yet what the problem was with Mr Brill Cream. It didn’t take long to find out though. He had a case of verbal diarrhea of the worst kind – the yawn-inducing, grit your teeth kind. Worse yet he had a hard Liverpool accent and evidently a false sense of his own charisma. “I know everyone here in Ennis,” he proclaimed. “Yep, there’s not a local that doesn’t know me, cause me families from ‘ere.” That would explain why he was lurking alone in the shadows when we arrived. Jaba leant toward me to share more insights such as “Grdhi lobjs argd,” and his breath suggested he may have been chewing cow turds for dinner. This guys charm was increasing by the minute. Meanwhile Mr. Brill Cream was still droning on about how popular he was and how his knowledge Ennis region could be used to write a book. Spittle had collected in the corners of Jabas mouth as he repeated his earlier wisdoms. Our exit was overdue.
Hastily donning our coats we escaped and strode quickly through the streets to our B & B. As we got nearer our lodge we saw crowds of lads leaning on parked cars, often shouting out to other vehicles as they slowly cruised by. Our hearts sank as we saw that our room overlooked a car park full of these industrious gentlemen. Within our room it was also quickly apparent that double-glazing hadn’t been used on the windows and that these boys were not only talented at yelling out obscenities to each other, they also enjoyed smashing the odd bottle and leaning on their car horns. Heavy sigh. Falling dejectedly onto our beds we noticed for the first time that rather than flat mattresses, these were more of the sagging in the middle variety. All of these factors added up to a night of little sleep and even less comfort. Now we understood why the rates had been so cheap.
What a sorry pair we made driving off in the morning. Although we tried not to wear our cranky pants, it was tough under the circumstances. To add to our mood, rain seemed to fall from several directions at once and a very thick fog rolled across the road from time to time. Things didn’t look too promising for our proposed visit to the cliffs of Moher and cruise to the Aran Islands. We had an early start, and it was before 9am when we arrived at the cliffs. We knew we were there because the sign announced it, but there wasn’t a hope in hell of seeing much more than a metre ahead of us through the thick fog and what had become driving rain. We knew there was still a possibility that we could catch a boat out to view the cliffs from the ocean later in the day, so we made our way to Doolin pier to organize tickets. On the waterfront huge plumes of white spray flew up with every powerful wave. Upon enquiry we were told boats were going nowhere.
Back to the car the weary soldiers drove on towards Galway. It was still only 11.30am when we hit town, and though we were bone tired, there wasn’t much chance of booking in anywhere this early, so we continued driving through Connemara towards the coastal town of Clifden. The countryside during this drive was pure magic. Pine forests with the tips of the branches shrouded in mist were scattered throughout the hills and valleys. Lakes lapped against the edges of the road and waterfalls began to pour across the road, so driving required total concentration. The road looked to have been asphalted last in 1925, and parts of it had succumbed to the pressure from torrents of water.
We consulted our Lonely Planet guide from the warm confines of our car and it was here we found Abbeyglen Castle, which brings me back to the beginning of this email. Did I mention there are two heli-pads in the grounds, along with a golf course, fountain, tennis courts and beautiful gardens? Dashing through the rain towards the entrance we were enchanted by the open fire in what I suppose would be called the ante-room before the reception area. The Castle oozes style and grace. Throughout the bottom story there are a multitude of sitting rooms furnished with deep, comfortable wing chairs and lounges, and all boast blazing fires.
When we were told our room was ready, I was almost reluctant to leave my snug and cozy spot by the fireplace. We were curious about the room of course, as if it matched the rest of the place, we were in for a treat. Well it’s not a room – it’s a suite!!! Woohoo!! After the porter deposited our bags we did a little dance of excitement through the rooms, oohing and aahing at the view over the golf course and gardens towards the ocean, the enormous bedroom and the two-room bathroom – with bidet! It was late afternoon by this time, and once we’d organized our bags, showered and dressed it was 6pm and we were famished! Time for dinner! Before making our way to the dining room we decided to ask if we could stay for another night. This place was beyond heaven! We were more than a little sad to be told that they were booked out. Ah well, we’d have to make the most of this one evening then.
Entering the dining room we saw that it was empty except for a few staff setting up cutlery and arranging plates. A short man with glasses approached us and I said “Oh sorry, are we early? We thought dinner was starting now.” During the afternoon we’d been chatting to a group of women who had called in for afternoon tea and they’d told us about the manager Paul. “Oh he’s just the most lovely man,” one gushed, while another thought he was “Quite a character.” They were both right! Paul moved towards us reaching out to grasp my hands “Oh lovely ladies,” he began, “dinner will be starting at 7.30, but can I suggest that you have a wee beverage downstairs in the meantime?” He went on to say in his melodic Irish “Of course ladies if you’re absolutely starving we will get something for you immediately.” We told Paul we’d wait for dinner and he escorted us down to the bar. “Emergency, emergency!” he said to the waiter at the bar “These lovely ladies are very important guests and we must organize a beverage for them straight away, and that will be out of my pocket money now.” You can’t complain about that sort of treatment can you?
Paul chatted to us for a while about where we were from and our plans. When we told him that we’d tried unsuccessfully to book another night in the castle he asked us what room we were in, wrote ‘21’ on his palm & headed towards reception proclaiming “Emergency, emergency! We must find a room for these very important guests tomorrow night.” Marissa and I looked at each other and laughed, and before we knew it he was back to say that it was done. Bloody hell, we were impressed! The fairytale continued with our evening meal. The theme of quality and style continued here, from the crisp white linen to the heavy silverware and crockery. The soft light created a warm atmosphere as dusk closed in and coloured lights began to glow in the fountain below our window. Marissa kept insisting I pinch her and repeated “We’re dining in a castle in Ireland. We’re dining in a castle in Ireland” When it came time to order I thought it would be appropriate to order a bottle of Moet to celebrate the occasion. Marissa had never tasted Moet, and there couldn’t be a better opportunity to sip classy bubbles for the first time!
Paul had been circulating around the room chatting to people as he went, and made it to our table when the Moet arrived. “Oh very posh,” he commented, and then checked with the waiter that it was properly chilled. Unfortunately it wasn’t quite cold, but we insisted this wasn’t a problem as we’d simply keep it on ice for a little longer. Our meals were delivered by two waiters and they came out on hot plates covered by the sort of silver dome that I’ve only ever seen in movies. The waiters carefully placed our meals before us and then counted down ‘3, 2, 1’ before lifting the lids with a flourish!! Wow! True to our experience so far, the meal was superb. We took our time, lingering over the sensational meal and savouring the champagne. Half way through the dinner Paul arrived again and plonked another bottle of Moet in the champagne bucket “A little something extra for you lovely ladies to enjoy. It’s from my pocket money” he insisted. Ok, now we felt really special! It was then I realized that this guy was part Leprechaun. It’s the only answer!!
Marissa and I were a bit doubtful about our ability to drink two bottles of champagne without ugly consequences, so it remained unopened for several hours while we finished off our first bottle and made our way through three delicious courses. Eventually feeling that another bottle couldn’t do too much damage if consumed over several more hours, the cork was popped and we had the bucket taken downstairs to enjoy the evening’s entertainment. We found the bar area had been transformed by candle and firelight. A woman played the grand piano and sang with finesse, and we settled in for a long and memorable night. Marissa chatted to some newlyweds from Ohio while I talked to some Irish and Americans around the piano for most of the evening (when I wasn’t singing along with the rest of the crowd). To top the evening off, the piano player invited any other guests to sing or play or both, and what a treat we had. A guy got up from the crowd and took his seat at the piano and proceeded to blow us all away with his talent. Man, could he play, and could he sing. It was goosebump stuff!!
Falling into bed around 2am we both fell asleep with huge smiles on our faces! This was too good to be true. The morning dawned with a crisp blue, cloud-free sky for the first time and we were overjoyed! Could it get any better? Another bonus was the absence of a hangover. What a difference quality makes. Paul once again worked the room during breakfast until he spotted us and pulled up a chair for a chat. “And what are my very special guests planning for the day?” he asked. We hadn’t decided that much at this stage and told him so. This prompted him to jump up muttering “Emergency, emergency, we must find a map for these wonderful ladies.” Returning with said map, he suggested that rather than enduring the long drive back to Doolin to go out to the Aran Islands, we visit a local, less-touristy spot instead. He also mentioned that he had some other important (frequent) guests arriving by helicopter that day and that he would arrange for us to ‘go for a ride’ if we’d like. If we’d like???? Someone pinch me!!!
Taking turns pinching each other, Marissa and I set off for the island of Inishboffin that Paul had recommended. We’d been told that hiring a bike was a great way to see the island, so that’s just what we did. It’s been years since I’ve pedaled a bike, and it was fantastic to jump on and race off to explore the island. The first hour was grand as we rode up and down gentle slopes overlooking the ocean and stopped to take photos from time to time. It got a bit hairier when the gentle slopes turned into thigh-burning monsters, but we survived (walking up them of course) and considered it a bonus to burn off our gourmet meal of the night before. I joked to Marissa that I was probably sweating Moet bubbles!
The return ferry wasn’t due for a couple of hours, so we parked ourselves at a glass-fronted hotel overlooking the bay and sipped hot chocolates and just absorbed it all. Arriving back at the castle (God that has a ring to it doesn’t it??) we were very excited to see a bright blue helicopter sitting in the pad outside our window!!! Wow!! Could this really happen? Would we get a ride over Connemara, maybe even by the cliffs of Moher in this?? Like a couple of excited teenagers we skipped up to our room and began getting ready for dinner. Marissa was in the shower when the phone rang and Paul the leprechaun invited us to join him with a few other “Very Important People,” as his guests of honour for the evening. After we stopped dancing the jig and squealing (again like a couple of teenagers) we dashed about moaning about our lack of appropriate clothing and guessing what our dinner companions would be like. Maybe we would meet a celebrity? Whatever the case, it was sure to be interesting to meet with people who regularly fly by helicopter.
How fortuitous that we couldn’t get to the Aran Islands when we planned! It’s unlikely we would have discovered this part of Ireland if we’d been able to stick to our original plans. Life is stranger than fiction, wouldn’t you agree??? This chapter is definitely my favourite part so far!!!